Weightism

I've been reading a book that has taken me in some unexpected directions. The book is The Solution by Laurel Mellin. In it, she talks extensively about weightism, which she defines as holding prejudices based solely on weight. That is, one has weightest thoughts if one sees someone who is large and immediately thinks that person is lazy. That's an obvious example, but of course it is usually much more subtle.

The most subtle form of weightism is the weightism we hold against ourselves. This is what Laruel Mellin advocates eliminating. We may not be able to singlehandedly cause the world to drop its weightism, but we can certainly work to eliminate our own. And in the process, we gain self-respect, self-esteem, and self-love. What's to lose?

So, here's what Mellin says:

"The differences between pencil-thin and more robust people are small in inconsequential, yet they've been distorted beyond reason in our culture because of two cultural obsessions: control and perfection. It's the fear in others of losing control and being imperfect that fans the flames of weightism. It is fear, not reality. For there are hundreds of studies comparing lean and overweight people and they show very small differences between the groups. What is the trugh about people with weight problems? The facts:

"On average, people with weight problems don't eat significantly more calories or burn off any fewer calories from exercise than normal-weight people.

"The subtle differences in eating patters and activity levels between overweight and lean people--overweight people eat more fat and exercise less intensely--are not moral or ethical issues.

"Weight has no effect whatsoever on a person's ability to take on the important roles in life: to be a good friend, a good parent, a good worker, or a good citizen."

We knew that. But I like the fact that Laurel Mellin addresses it head-on. The most interesting thing she says here, I think, is that it is fear in others of losing control or being imperfect that fuels the fan of weightism. That's probably what fuels our own weightism, too. And then there is plenty of support for us to hold the common view.

But we must drop our weightism. We must lose it. We must think uncommon thoughts--that we are beautiful, lovable, and complete just as we are. We must give ourselves what our society cannot--approval, love, acceptance, and nurturing. And unfortunately, we probably need to abandon any expectations that our culture will join us in doing so.

Keep telling yourself the truth. Tell yourself what you would tell a hurt child or your best friend if they were hurt by something someone said about them. Fight back! We owe it to ourselves.

Only beauty seen here-
Beata